A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote, "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. and I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

Two piggies walk into a bar, get drunk and ask, "Where's the bathroom?" The bartender points to the door and they rush in.

Two more piggies walk into a bar. They soon get drunk and they ask, "Where's the bathroom?" The bartender points to the door and they rush in.

One piggy walks into a bar. He gets drunk out of his mind and then heads for the exit. "Hey, buddy! Do you want know where the bathroom is?" asks the bartender.

"No thanks," the piggy slurs, "I always go WEEWEEWEE all the way home!"

Kerry the tomcat was scampering all over the neighborhood – down alleys, up fire escapes, into cellars. A disturbed neighbor knocked on the owner’s door and said,

“Your cat is rushing about like mad.” “I know,” the man conceded. “Kerry’s just been neutered, and he’s running around canceling engagements.”

A man graduated from veterinary school then took a course in taxidermy. He now has a sign in his Doctor's office that reads,

"Veterinarian/Taxidermist - Either way - you get your pet back".

Q: Why do dogs make such poor gamblers?

A: When they get a good hand at poker, they wag their tails.