EMF

The best thing you can do for your brother is to be there for him. Listen to him, whatever he has to say, whatever he may feel. He may feel scared. He may feel angry. He may feel guilty. He may feel anything at all. Let him. Hear him, accept what he says, let him feel what he feels. Let him be what he feels himself to be. Feelings are not the same as thoughts, and they don’t obey the same rules as thoughts. So feelings can seem unacceptable to the thinking mind. That doesn’t matter. Don’t let thinking or judging get in the way of hearing whatever he says with compassion.

Say he feels angry at your dad for getting sick. This makes no sense in intellectual terms; it’s nothing your dad did on purpose. Intellect is not the issue. If you respond with intellect and reject what he feels, that feeling will persist and make trouble. If you accept what he feels, that feeling will change, and move on to the next thing he feels. Which may well be something entirely different. He may blame your mom. He may blame the doctors. He may blame himself. He may blame you. He may blame God. He may fall into terror instead.

Do not judge. Simply accept that he is thinking what he is thinking. That is okay. He is feeling what he is feeling. That is okay. Thoughts and feelings are not inherently good or bad. Actions can be good or bad. But these are internal thoughts and feelings. Accept them. Let them be. By doing so you can be there for, and with, your brother.