You are getting my favorite except it ain't express.

I like this little ridiculous thing, but it is by no means the best option. Just looks fun. I guess fun isn't a factor when it comes to home defense unless you're a psychopath <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />



You could even conceal two of them on shoulder slings under your bath robe for the ultimate surprise. Not sure if it has enough weight to do the "movie" one-handed pump though.