The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in
Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved
animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from
onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer whale.

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with
what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle.
Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a
handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. A shame
as he had merely been listening to his walkman.

Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to
a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped
through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to
death.

Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It
came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. You guessed it, he opened it
and said a fond farewell to his face.