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Life in the Aussie army #143440 10/26/07 03:39 AM
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This was good so I swiped it from BB.

Life in the Australian Army...

Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a smalltown, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland)


Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!

At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!!

This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody possum's bum and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of ****!! You don't even load your own cartridges, they comes in little boxes, and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!

Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.
Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.

I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.





Your loving daughter,

Sheila


"if you want to be a hero you have to learn to drive stick"! Sara Conner
Re: Life in the Aussie army [Re: Unsub] #143441 10/26/07 03:45 AM
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I 'bout pissed ma pants when I read the last line!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

Thats the funniest thing I've read in months.

Thanks bro - been the world's crappiest week, and that sure brightened things up a bit!!


JYD#9
Re: Life in the Aussie army [Re: diceman] #143442 10/26/07 04:01 AM
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tedwca Offline
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LOL, that's great!!

Thanks


Ted Wilson
Dum inter homines sumus, colamus humanitatem.
BTW - Winter is Coming.
Re: Life in the Aussie army [Re: diceman] #143443 10/26/07 04:06 AM
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Ironballs Offline
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great twist..


"All your Busse are belong to us" "All your Scrp Yard Knife are belong to us" No Regrets!
Re: Life in the Aussie army [Re: Ironballs] #143444 10/26/07 10:47 AM
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Tessaiga Offline
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The signatory really takes the cake!!!! ROFLMAO

Re: Life in the Aussie army [Re: Tessaiga] #143445 10/26/07 11:02 AM
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Gravelface Offline
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That about sums it up!!!!


EMail if you have a spare 460!!!! JYD# 2
Re: Life in the Aussie army [Re: Gravelface] #143446 10/26/07 12:21 PM
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bigocean Offline
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Good one, rather hilarious I must admit!

Not sure about the country girls... but here in Sydney, babes are everywhere... and I feel sorry for the parents who named their daughter "sheila"... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Re: Life in the Aussie army [Re: Gravelface] #143447 10/26/07 12:24 PM
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stansbrew Offline
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Good One!


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Re: Life in the Aussie army [Re: stansbrew] #143448 10/26/07 02:03 PM
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Rainwalker Offline
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That was great... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


JYD#35 Dog Walkin in the Rain
Re: Life in the Aussie army [Re: Rainwalker] #143449 10/26/07 08:20 PM
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Leatherface Offline
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Ok I loved that


Dave Owner/Thrall Azrael's Custom Leather
Post deleted by Private Klink [Re: Leatherface] #143450 10/26/07 08:30 PM
A
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Re: Life in the Aussie army #143451 10/26/07 08:53 PM
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J33psr0ck Offline
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Great post.


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