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'What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.'

'My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.'

'My brain: It`s my second favorite organ.'

'Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.'

What's up

'Groucho Marx. Willie Mays. The second movement of the Jupiter Symphony. Louis Armstrong's recording of Potato Head Blues. Swedish movies. Sentimental Education by Flaubert . Marlon Brando, Frank Sinatra. Those incredible apples and pears by Cézanne. The crabs at Sam Wo's . . . and, uh, Tracy's face.'

besides

'There's an old joke . . . two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life.'

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Counts

'I was thrown out of NYU [New York University] for cheating on my Metaphysics final. I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.'