Who was the first to see a cow and think “I wonder what will happen if I squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?”

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.

If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven’t completely understood the situation.

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper.

Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?

Without nipples, breasts would be pointless.

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.

I have all the money I’ll ever need – if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.

Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.