I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.

You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.

I don't know what people have against Jimmy Carter… he's done nothing.

The Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem; they're all running for the presidency.

He plays just like a union man… he negotiates the final score.

At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies.

You never had to ask his score; just count the casualties.

Alan Shepard walking on the moon found a golf ball with Gerald Ford’s initials on it.

I need money… I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.

If you watch a game, it’s fun; if you play it, it’s recreation; if you work at it, it’s golf.