As I walked out in the streets of Spring, Texas
As I walked out in Spring, Texas one day
I saw a broke bowie wrapped up in white linens
Wrapped in white linens as cool as the clay
"I see by your belt sheath that you are a knifeknut"
These words he did say as I proudly stepped by
"Come sit down beside me and hear my sad story
I'm not one of Dan's and that's why I did die
"'Twas once in a backyard that I went batoning
Through some nearly clear pine I went that day
But I am poor stainless and had a stress-riser
I flew from my handle seven different ways
"Let pay-tv rejects sell off my brothers
Let loudmouthed big blowhards swear they're the real deal
But see by my fragments I'm not SR-77
SR-77, now that's a knife steel!
"Now beat the drum slowly, play the fife lowly
Go to shop scrapyard dot com when I'm gone
Now tie me in heftys and chuck me in a dumpster
And get a real bowie next time you log on"
We beat the drum slowly, played the fife lowly
Bitterly wept at the money mispent
For that stainless bowie, shattered and homely
Could truly have been one more mortgage payment.