I just liked the part about the two different types. I think I'm of the former.

Haha, me as well, but I'm just a middle aged (?) 57 year old that has dunlop's disease.

dunlops disease, where your belly dun lapped over your belt!

Well my relief is here and I gotta take the puppy to the Vet. I got 55 minutes go go 50 miles and have to pick her up on the way!

Take care Randy, That isn't too hard, just make sure you look out for cops. (don't look in the mirrors <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />)

Quate[ Neus, I am jealous. Whenever I have slapped my face, it still looks the same, a little redder maybe, but still the same. I just don't understand why I can't change. ] Quate

Skunkhunter it's not as difficult as it seems! Here's what you do: Slap your face as hard as you can, slap it again and again and again, do NOT stop as it starts to bleed, just keep on slapp'n... I garante you your face will change, a lot;-)

For quicker effects, use hydraulic press.

LOL... For best face altering effect insurted in ears or nose! For a more balloon effect use mouth and/ or rectum;-) The whole body altering effect!

7000PSI nitrogen tank should do the job. Will flash freeze while you explode.

k. Y'all are just disturbed.

Hey, He started it <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Found the rest of the speech by that Rear Admiral from earlier:

“An old Navy admiral once said the military branches show certain characteristics of dogs. The Navy acts mostly like a golden retriever. It goes adrift for a long time, but it eventually finds its way back home. It may have a friendly demeanor, but make it mad, and it will unleash its fury upon you.

“The Army acts like a German shepherd. It may be big, slow, and act a tad bit lazy at times, but when it needs to, it has endurance to stand its ground and fight for a very long time.

“The Air Force is like a poodle. It may be a little too well groomed, and it prances around like it is a show dog. But poodles were originally trained as hunting dogs. They know how to strike quick and hard, when needed to.

“And finally, Marines come in two different dogs: a pit bull or a Rottweiler. Marines come big and mean or skinny and mean.”

Nice speech. Seems somehow appropriate for this forum <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />