I remember this one time I was prying the jaws of a zombie pit bull off of a friend's neck. The dog's jaws were practically locked like pit bulls do except they had the added bonus of rigamortis setting in. Normally I would have just killed my friend and the dog since they had both been infected, but my friend knew where the keys to the Soviet tanks were. I had to clear his airways so he could tell me.

Well, long story short, my Chris Reeves Green Beret snapped and my friend and the dog had to be shot. Have you ever tried hot-wiring a tank?

Lesson: Buy Busse-kin, and don't get stuck walking in a post apocalyptic, zombie wasteland of a Soviet invaded United States.