1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

2. A day without sunshine is like... Night.

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

4. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

5. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

15. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

18. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

25. Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

26. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Very wise <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> . I like #18 a lot.

22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

LOL

pretty funny list .... lots of truth to it though....

LOL!! Very good! I just hope you are old enough to be that cynical!.. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Sounds like he has a good handle on life! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Very cool! great list!!! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/thumbup.gif" alt="" />

LMFAO!!! Great stuff.

A classic.

LOL...thanks for the thought provoking list

Dan

I have seen most of thoes but it has been a while very refreshing thank you.

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America... ..are there handicap parking places in front of a
skating rink

3. Only in America... ..do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to
the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, supersized
fries, and a diet coke. (people do this all the time, I used to work at
McDonalds)

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the
pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in
the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and
then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want
to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
packages of eight. (THIS ONE ALWAYS BUGGED ME!)

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the
process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning
'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America..... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille
lettering.

James it isn't just America!!