My wife and I recently started discussing purchasing a couple of handguns. One for each of us because it is highly unlikely that we will both like or be comfortable with the same one. I'm 33 and I haven't fired a pistol since I was about 12. The purpose of the weapons would be for home defense and for recreational shooting. I'm not interested in concealed carry for the time being. I understand that to really decide if a weapon is right for you, you need to see how it feels to you, fire it if possible, etc. What I am looking for though are some guidelines to start with. I'm not sure what caliber to go with. I'm not too worried about recoil for myself as I'm a pretty good sized guy, but then again, I haven't fired a weapon in 21 years so I really don't have much frame of reference. Also, I'd like some brand recommendations. what do you guys like or dislike about certain brands? some are obviously more expensive, but where is the level of diminishing returns? Are some brands simpler to take apart and clean? I don't want to be over my head the first time out. Oh, one last thing...I want my pistol to be a semi-automatic rather than a revolver (had a bad experience with a revolver). Any and all suggestions for either pistol are welcomed, please.

Thanks!