I would go with a revovler in 357 for both...if it turns out to be too much for either of you...you can shoot 38special safely in the 357. However, if you are set on the auto I would go with 9mm glock. This would give you higher capacity on a reliable platform. Glocks have 33% fewer moving parts when compared to comparable autos. Also, according to atf 65% of new hand gun sales are glocks, and many law enforcement agencies and officers carry glockds. But before you purchase you should go down to your local shop/range and see if they rent guns to shoot at their range. If they do you can practice with different calibers and platforms to help you make the right decision