Well, I guess it's easy to SEE her... Just go visit. It's just tough emotionally...

The last 12 hours I spent with my mom seems like an eternity that had been removed from time and space, just for us, and the rest of the world had simply fallen away. I still can't think about it without crying. Some moments were intense anguish--seeing my mother in so much pain, not knowing what was going to happen to her, learning she was not coming home from the hospital, watching my children say goodbye, saying goodbye myself--while some were incredibly sacred that I will treasure the remainder of my days.

I'd seen her in and out of hospitals before throughout my childhood.... unfortunately, much like my kids have seen me. I only live 7 hours from their place now, but she still wouldn't tell me any of the other times she went in during her last few years. She didn't want me to see her in there if she could help it.

Praying for whatever outcome she most desires, God's will to be done, and everyone to find the joy in whatever that is. Personally, I'm hoping you'll have another joy and memory-filled Christmas with her.