Accidentally went hunting last night. I was practicing with my compound crossbow from off the deck. Went down and brought the target up from 20 to 10 yards to see where the crossbow was hitting closer in. I had just cocked the crossbow and was looking for a field tip bolt when I looked up and saw a big doe standing exactly where the target had been at 20 yards. I yelled at her and she just sat there chewing her cud. The temptation was too much, so I pulled out a broad head tipped bolt from the front quiver and shot her

Time of shot: 1830.

I watched her run off across the path to the woods, got down and made sure there was blood, and waited for the inky cover of darkness to hide my deeds. Lisa came home and took it better than I thought she would. She always warned me "DON'T SHOOT THE DEER IN OUR YARD!!! THE NEIGHBORS WILL NOT LIKE IT!!!!" When I confirmed I had broken neither law nor HOA rules, she just shook her head abs said "Well, so long as it's not dead in the neighbor's yard. "

My youngest daughter walked in 20 minutes later and agreed to come help me track the deer down. We got some food and waited until we thought it unlikely we'd meet any neighbors while skulking around in the dark bedecked in camo and carrying my 4-11 clipped on the side of my Maxped Fatboy.

BTW, THAT was the knife I dreamt about a well or two ago. Actually, it was a variant that had cutouts to use as a wrench for O2 tanks and a bottle opener on the choil.

Time of departure: 2000


I THOUGHT it had gone into a thicket about 20-30 yards behind the house to die. Boy was I wrong. It HAD gone into the thicket... but then it left, jumped the creek, and headed uphill toward the well-lit middle school behind the house. I was praying "PLEASE don't let this thing die somewhere on school property in front of a window! Then I remembered the school literally has no windows

It stopped about 20 yards short of the school's grassy fields, did a big loop back around, then looped back again, and headed into the woods again. It eventually cane out into a wide trail covered in invasive Japanese stilt grass, walked along it for 70 yards, then back into the woods and jumped into the dry creek bed. It walked along for another 40 yards, before jumping back up the bank to avoid a pool that still had water and eventually died in the middle of the dry bed RIGHT where a jogging path intersects it. Unfortunately foxes had started eating out the rump but stopped when they got a geyser of gut goo. Apparently I got one lung and nicked a stomach. Good thing. Apparently foxes dislike a face full of feces, which is apparently what it got when it took one bite too many

Time of discovery: 2130

That deer had wandered probably close to 300 yards before giving up the ghost about 100 yards from our property in the common area woods. I didn't want to haul a mauled carcass back, but I couldn't leave it in the middle of the trail. That, and I am loathe to waste an animal... even one that's been partially eaten. My two exceptions were also in the same woods when I went back to pick up the deer and there were flocks of vultures already consuming them. I don't mess with 50 angry birds of prey in a feeding frenzy

Decided to go get my game cart that's been in the shed since the HOA banned hunting probably 5 years back, gut the deer, and quarter her in the backyard. We went back home, abs got the cart after getting some water and bungee cord We started through the woods to the paved trail behind the house when we saw a guy walking his dog coming down the path. We ditched our gear in the brush and made like we were on a nighttime stroll... dressed as hunters... with red headlamps...at 2145... on a school night...

Oddly, it was a 30-ish year old guy with a Mohawk named Lance that my 15 year old daughter somehow knew out walking his Irish wolf hound/pitbull crossbreed for a walk. We stopped and chatted for a bit until he decided to move on. We got our gear, and walked back to the deer.

Then we set our hand to the gruesome task before us. I yanked the deer out of the dry creek bed and around some shrubs into a clearing. My youngest, fighting back her revulsion of the scent of gut shot deer, bravely helped hold back the legs so I could more easily field dress the doe. I hoisted the significantly- lighter animal up onto the two wheeled cart, strapped her down, and headed home.

Time of departure: 2230

Got the deer back, and my youngest got the hose and a cooler, and kept me company for a bit before I insisted she go to bed. With the deer rinsed out, I set it on the grass and commenced quartering/ light butchering. I took off the two shoulders and the non- chewed hindquarter first, along with one backstrap and half the neck before turning to the foxy bits. I left WIDE berth around the nasty part, cutting from the inside out. I only felt confidante taking half the bottom round and the sirloin tip. The rest went in the garbage bag. Got the other backstrap and neck half, but opted to leave the tenderloins in the animal. Just too nasty. Did salvage the heart and liver. Brought everything up to the garage and took a swig of water.

Time of completion: 0000

Had to get ice. Made a 7-11 run. Filled the cooler with 20lbs of ice. Went in. Washed up. Ate a snack and drank a lot of water. That's when I realized how much I hurt. Peeled of my nasty clothes. Went upstairs and showered. Found a heating pad and crawled into bed.

Time of sleep: 0130

Got up today at 0600 for a doctor's appointment.

The moral of the story: resist the temptation to shoot a deer on a school night